OK, so.....being a new mom, I have learned to look at life from a different perspective that i didn't understand before. I work with Ava everyday to teach her the skills she will need for life. I hold her hands and try and "walk" with her. (as much as you can with a 6 month old) I enunciate my words over and over to try and teach her how to talk. (by the way, she is amazing at Dada and mama) We get in the floor and roll around and reach for toys and explore the world together. There is nothing better in life than this! When I look into the future, I think about what kind of person I want her to be. I think to myself, "she will never hate me, we will always be best friends, and she won't have a rebellious bone in her body." But I know that all that is not true. Our relationship will falter and she will think I am the most non-understanding person on the face of this planet. To be honest, that scares me to death. When I think about that fear, it makes me want to cry. What if she hates me forever? What if I can't convince her that I understand? What if she turns from me and never finds the love of Jesus? I was reading in my bible today in Hosea 11. If you get a chance, check it out.
God describes his relationship with Israel the same way my relationship is with Ava. Verse 3 says "I myself taught Israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand. But he doesn't know or even care that it was I who took care of him." God helps us through this life and He knows best. I constantly depend on "my own understanding" to get me through. How come? when I know that God knows best? Verse 7 really hit me...."For my people are determined to desert me. They call me the Most High, but they don't truly honor me." Determined.....wow. Looking back, my actions show that I am determined to not trust God. Determined to get through these problems on my own. I call God the Most High, but do I truly honor God? Do my actions honor God? something to think about.......
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